Sunday, December 27, 2009

To Those Who Feel Small

We punish brains that are not used,
we insult hands that do not make.
we need the feet that ground our roots,
and we live on fools that take.

But we lock the dreamers and we lock the hearts
the ones who grasp our minds.
and we hide them, deny them and tie THEIR hands
and set them free "in due time".

Well I say go, and I say fly, and I say take the risk at hand.
Forget the ones who tie you down, and take the final stand.
Love will set you free, they say, and time may only heal,
but the sunset of the creative mind will make the mind reveal.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Trash Can

I feel like a trash can. No; I am a trash can. I am equivalent to a fucking trash can. Do you know how it feels to be a trash can? To feel like your soul purpose in life is to be people’s waste receptacle. I envy the recycle bin- the one that can take trash and transform it into something beautiful again. Me? No. I take trash and hold it as such. I don’t cover it up to be anything other than what it is.
I stand at the side of the road- unnoticed until someone needs me. There is no spotlight for me. I never receive affection, nor do I ever move to try. I am accountable for one thing: to carry the shit of the same dull people day by day. Everything is slower, the days grow longer, and I am left to watch the sunset alone. I glance at couples and lovers sitting on benches falling for each other while I stand there silent, refusing to let the stench of my failure get a hold of me.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Je suis triste

So it hasn't even been a week yet since I learned of my boyfriend's recent idea of joining the military.

No, not idea, announcement.

It is for sure that by the end of the summer he will be leaving for boot camp.

Now, here's the issue:

Yes, it is going to really suck not seeing, or even communicating, with him for two months, but I'm strong and I can survive that.

What really sucks, and I mean REALLY sucks, is that for the past five days or so, I haven't had a day with him, even on MY Graduation day, where I haven't heard about how happy he is to join. And he should be happy, he really wants to do this, and I'm very proud of him.

He tells me that he's staying till the end of the summer because he wants to spend a whole summer with me, BUT, I'm seeing other reasons.

The end of June, him and i, and his family, are all going to Florida.
The end of July, he has "guy-camp" with his father and his brother,(uncles, nephews, etc....You know men), and that's already payed for.

So...say these vacation plans were not intact... would he go?
Is he more excited for the military than to spend time with me?

It really hurts to think that not only will he be gone for two months, but that he will forget to miss me...

I have things to go and places to do...

I'm running out of time.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


My feet are here, but I am not
I am over hills and under streams
back to a time where real music was
a mother's lullaby, not timid and cowardly

I have traveled backwards and forwards
Inside and out, but never so far as I am now
I'm up, high on my own terms and low to no one's
I've given up on my legs

So many anaerobic things, so many challenges
Obstacles,...Oh, Obstacles, you have stood
So proudly in my way, year after year
step after step


whatever road I ever chose
you're there.

But you're lovable, because you're movable.

My feet are here but my mind is not
My mind is far away, trying to catch up to my heart
Claire de Lune sings along their travels
I hope the journey is well for both
While they are off
I am stone.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009


I have finally come to understand that nothing is really bad for you, given the fact that it is taken in small doses.

Consider my boyfriend, he turned twenty-one this past February, and I understand that in the rush of being that age, a boy, like him, will go out frequently to the bars and such, during the first few weeks of turning said age.

Being the girlfriend of seventeen, however, it does tend to be a little worrisome. Which he understands and respects, so we give him kudos. *snap*snap*snap*.

He has calmed down incredibly, thank God, and now it's only the occasional beer with his friends, or the part every couple months where he will, indeed, get hammered, and have every right to.

So I am not considering that an addiction.
Now! The real addiction! It's much more unbelievable, and has turned out to have an even greater impact.

My stepfather is addicted... to facebook.

It's the worst case of it yet. Yesterday my mom clocked him at seven hours, SEVEN HOURS, on this website. THAT'S HORRIBLE! MY GOD! Honestly I couldn't be on facebook for seven hours, and I'm a teenager!


My mom will want to talk to him about something important, and he'll respond back with something along the lines of,

"Hold on, I have to pass out drinks to my friends,"

Honestly, facebook wouldn't be half as bad if it didn't have all of those fucking applications. Honestly? Do we really need virtual alcohol?
I thought the real stuff was harmful enough. Guess I was wrong.

Moral: Friends don't let friends Drink and Click.

Friday, May 1, 2009

Friend much?

So this is my first blog. I figured I might as well join a blogging website because facebook and myspace users really only go for gossip.

I'm also really excited to start up on this website because my friend Eric and my creative writing teacher also have an account via this webpage, and therefore i will be able to conform!!!


That's really all I have to talk about at the moment I think.

So ... yup... save now button anyone?

oops. no that's not the right one... let's try this again... publish post.